I've never watched porn. Well not so much of a big surprise considering that I was brought up with a mentality that saying the word "breast" is not advisable. Odd, yess but anyway I use the word breast freely now(My ambition is to be a doctor for crying out loud). While I am opposed to porn, and discourage anyone who comes to me for advice on this issue, I never really could give GOOD, PERSUASIVE reasons why one shouldn't watch porn. And I've always wondered myself the grounds on which this stand is made by the church.
So I made an effort to surf through a few catholic sites to find some good reasons why one should NOT, or STOP watching blue film. This is what I've found...
".....First, in Matthew 5:27-28 our Lord says clearly: “You have heard that it was said to them of old: Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Further, still from a Christian perspective, pornographic films are produced in grave sin, sin which is the cause of Christ’s suffering and death. What are we watching in such films is the commission of grave offenses against God and His gift of marital love and procreation.
From a psychological perspective the watching of porn is also deadly. Studies have shown that the watching of pornography is addictive, and the images seen are etched almost permanently into memory. Such images pervade the imagination, especially at the most inopportune moments such as when normal sexual relations between married spouses is attempted.
Adultery in the imagination, or by watching porn, leads inevitably to infidelity either in person or virtually. Adultery usually leads to marriage breakdown and the nightmare of divorce.
Sexuality is a gift from God. It is geared to a man and a woman giving themselves to each other freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully until death do they part. Any sexual activity outside of that, whether it be pre-marital, adulterous, by force, with self, same-sex or contraceptive is harmful physically, psychologically and spiritually."
On top of that, most of the porn stars are probably not in a relationship let alone married. This in turn leads to FORNICATION. And watching porn is like sitting on the "WE SUPPORT FORNICATION" side of the bleachers. Needless to say, fornication is a sin, and if done with full knowledge and full consent, a grave sin. By watching pornography, one directly encourage the production of more pornography which leads to more fornication, more acts of defiling the sacredness of sex!
"Sex is about real love. Real love is choosing what is best for the other, regardless of the cost to myself. Think about it - what is more powerful than having sex? The greatest power we have is to create and the greatest of all created things is a human being. When a child is created in a mother's womb, it is because two people have the opportunity to procreate. That is, to create with God. Sex is the most powerful thing humans can participate in.
Any kind of sexual activity outside of the bonds of marriage cannot be a loving act. Why? Because love wouldn't take a chance with someone phyiscally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. and this is just what sex outside of marriage does, it risks another person's well-being."
NB: There a MANY more reasons why porn is wrong. The ones I mentioned came to me as compelling but different people would find different reasons compelling so do check out the 2 websites in my citation and if that's not enough go google. WARNING:DO NOT GOOGLE PORN. Google "Why Porn is Wrong"
"Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things , hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends...And now faith, hope and love abide, these three, and the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8, 13 Already in these few verses have I found how much love I lack. It's ironic how we say we LOVE so much yet meet so little of love's definition. Reading this passage somehow motivates me to strive to be what love is, as difficult as it can be most of the time. So with God's grace may I grasp slowly bit by bit what is the greatest gift of all. If
I'm putting up this post because I have persistently struggled with this sacrament , always wondering why it is necessary when one could just confess his/her sin to God privately in prayer, always plagued by fear of embarrassment and humiliation, and since lenten season is commencing very soon , I figured people who feel the way I do could use some help with what seems to be (but actually isn't) an unfathomable , unnecessary sacrament.
"...sometimes I get mild shudders and my heart thumps so fast I probably am close to getting a myocardial infarction..."
Not unaware that confession is at hand when Easter is in sight, I start getting little and random feelings of anxiety and apprehension of having to confess my sin yet again. But what are little and random feelings now were torrents and surges of emotions(mainly fear, anxiety and confusion) back in my early days of going for confession. I strictly and mostly do 2 confessions a year, one during the lenten season and the other during the advent season- something I'm not proud of -because everytime I go for confession I get the chills, so bad that sometimes I get mild shudders and my heart thumps so fast I probably am close to getting a myocardial infarction. It's because I feel so ashamed to tell the priest what I've done wrong, and that's not the headline, the headline is I have to tell the priest PRECISELY WHAT and HOW I DID WRONG. And being human and a male , I've often had impure thoughts and probably desires which I am very ashamed of and sometimes very unintentional(to the extent of which I don't know if it's a sin) . And I struggle to decide if it's a sin and whether I should confess it since I'm not sure if it is.
But over the years, I've became more and more calm when it comes to confessions or calling it what it truely is, Sacrament of Reconciliation. Today I read a few articles on what can be an amazing sacrament , and I would really like to share it with you...
By Fr. Cedric Pisegna, CP
During this year for priests, i have been reflecting on my vocation and the different ways God has worked in my life since my ordination. And i have to say that of all the things i have been called to do as a priest, I have been most affected-and most surprised-by my experience of hearing confessions. Before i was ordained in 1991 , i thought it would be burdensome or strange to spend hours in confessional every week . But it didn't tak eme long to discover how very powerful this sacrament can be, for me as well as for people who come to confess their sins.
COURAGE TO SEE AND SAY. Many people are nervous when they approach this sacrament. Once, a woman came in and instead of praying, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, " she started, "Bless us , O Lord , and these they gifts...." I half expected her to break out some food so we could celebrate. Actually we laughed about her nervous beginning, and it became a moment of relaxation for her.
Often when a person steps into the confessional, I will clasp their hands as they sit down. They are usually freezing cold. I understand why. Sometimes when i preach my own hands get cold. A major reason for this is nervousness. When the preaching is over , I feel my hands getting warm right away. Confessing your sins to another can be scary too, and i admire the courage of every penitent.
Many people are unable – or unwilling- to look within and examine their conscience. When they come for Confession, it’s with an attitude of “ I can’t imagine what I’ve done wrong.” That’s the problem. But no confessor has a problem with people who come to the sacrament knowing they have failed and need forgiveness even if it is a matter of grave sin.
A HEALING SACRAMENT. By his preaching, counselling, and celebrating the sacraments, a priest mediates the healing presence of Jesus. As a travelling missionary who hears confessions in many different churches, I try to facilitate this in practical ways. Whenever I am ministering, I try to provide a simple , prayerful atmosphere where a person will feel welcome. I air out the confessional and clear away any clutter. I light a candle. I provide a box of tissues. That last item is because some people unexpectedly tear up. Often they will apologize, but I will hand them a tissue and say, “That’s okay. Tears are a gift. They can be cleansing. Take your time, no hurry.”
Tears are often a sign of inner healing. And this inner healing , as I have discovered from many hours in the confessional, is what people desperately need. We need healing form perpetuating the same sins over and over. We need healing from guilt, shame and inner condemnation. We need healing and restoration in our relationship with God. All of this is available through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Once, I went to a priest friend of mine and confessed a sin from my past that I had never told before. As the confession ended, he stood and gave me a long hug. He was a tall man, and as I felt his embrace I suddenly realised that I was being hugged by the One who forgave me- Jesus. It was a touch of Christ that I will never forget. I was able to let go of the guilt and forgive myself.
NO MASKS. The trust people give priests is inspiring. There are no masks in the confessional. I see people at their best, as well as their worst. They are extremely honest and vulnerable. They share their hidden secrets ands tell me things they have not even shared with their spouse. I try to provide a nonjudgemental, safe place where people can open themselves fully. When they share their innermost secrets and sins with me, I know they are letting in the light of God and moving forward. A process of freedom begins. Healing occurs. Issues are confronted. Forgiveness and mercy are received. The founder of the Passionists, St. Paul of the Cross, said he preached in order to get people to come to Confession. He knew the power of what could happen one on one.
I am surprised, not only by what happens in each penitent but also in me. When I hear someone share honestly and with complete vulnerability, my own heart softens, and I am more open to grace. In some ways , you reflect my life, as if I am looking into a mirror. Seeing you wrestling to forgive someone, overcome your compulsions, or surrender to God confronts me with my own struggles and moves me to look at my own life more closely. Your honesty is a witness to me. We are not islands unto ourselves but are all part of the same continent. We share a common humanity, and as you share with me, my communion with you is profound. I have heard thousands of confessions and never cease to be amazed at how Christ touches the priest, as well as the penitent in this healing sacrament."
...and an excerpt from http://catholicism.about.com:
Why Is Confession Necessary?:
Non-Catholics, and even many Catholics, often ask whether they can confess their sins directly to God, and whether God can forgive them without going through a priest. On the most basic level, of course, the answer is yes, and Catholics should make frequent acts of contrition, which are prayers in which we tell God that we are sorry for our sins and ask for His forgiveness.
But the question misses the point of the Sacrament of Confession. The sacrament, by its very nature, confers graces that help us to live a Christian life, which is why the Church requires us to receive it at least once per year. Moreover, it was instituted by Christ as the proper form for the forgiveness of our sins. Therefore, we should not only be willing to receive the sacrament, but we should embrace it as a gift from a loving God.
For more information, do check out http://catholicism.about.com/od/beliefsteachings/p/Why_Confession.htm.
